Raising children.

0 - 6 months: Tit Sucker 
6 months - 2 years: Carpet Crawler
2 years - 4: Room Wrecker
4 - 9: Yard Ape 
9 - 12: Neighborhood Goon 
12 - 14: Street Urchin 
15 - 17: Village Idiot
17 - 19: Juvenile Delinquent
19+ Delinquent 


And then we hope for maturity.....